Welcome to my weekly post Fast Flash Friday. I am going to flash a snippet of one of my works-in-progress and you will tell me what you think.
I would like your critique of the story (plot) if it grabs you, something you’d like to read. No extreme editing please. Thanks!
Your choices are:
(5 Stars) Love it! Go for it!!
(4 Stars) It’s good – It’s got potential
(3 Stars) It’s Okay – Needs work
(2 Stars) It sucks – Buzz Sound “EEEEH!”
So here we go!
A scene from the third or the Protector Novels, Desperate Possession, still in draft stage.
When darkness fell, Tonia drove a few blocks and parked in a well-lit spot along the busy Bulkhead street. Thanks to the full moon, she could see clearly enough to make her way toward Inferno, a well-known demon hangout at a quick pace.
Dressed in black legging, a mid thigh length form fitting sweater dress complete with a cross-body bag where she’d stowed a badge, a service weapon and several daggers and four-inch heels, she looked every bit the part of a party girl.
A woman moaned and Tonia slowed by a side street. She squinted into the darkness and caught sight of a couple was making out with fervor, the female held up against the building’s wall by a large blonde male. From the sidewalk, it was hard to see if he was demon or not, so she moved in to get a closer look.
“Oh god yes!” the woman called out. Okay, obviously no one was in danger so Tonia turned to leave. At that moment the breeze stirred in her direction, with it the unmistakable metallic odor of blood.
She yanked a dagger out of her bag and stalked toward the oblivious pair still too involved to notice her approach. The demon was grinding into the woman’s hand which was tucked inside his pants. She pleasured him as he fed from her. Killed her.
A sudden movement just beyond the couple caught her attention and Tonia stalled her approach.
From within the shadows, a tall male moved toward the couple and leaned to the male’s ear. In that instant the demon pulled his fangs from the woman’s throat only for her to latch on to his lips and kiss away at the blood that had spilled. A consensual tryst then.
Broad shouldered and tall, the newcomer cocked his head to the side and studied Tonia. At least she thought he might be looking at her. It was too dark to see his face clearly, yet the unnatural glow of his eyes prompted her to take a step back. Whatever he was, she didn’t want to find herself alone in the alleyway with him. The couple who’d resumed their activity would be of no assistance.
Tonia retraced her steps toward the nightclub.
Just as she reached the side entrance of the establishment, fingers tapped her shoulder and she swung around, dagger in hand ready to strike.
“Hello Tonia,” Fallon’s lavender eyes locked on hers.
The Protector Series
In a world where demons hide amongst humans, some good, some deadly, the immortal Protectors defend the innocent against those that mean them harm, while finding themselves defenseless against the powerful force of love.
Available on Kindle, KOBO and Nook format. *Desperate Choices is e-book only